...Every morning right before dawn I lay awake in bed and take in all the prayers and well wishes from friends and family. I take in the strength and encouragement and let it set the tone for my day. I also apologize to my organs and good cells...telling them what's about to hit you - you're not going to like. This isn't going to be fun...but trust me, reserves are on the way and chemo is our friend. Its so confusing that something that is part of me would kill me if it weren't for modern medicine. I am channeling all the strength from those that came before me and especially my Great Grandma Aurea born in 1900 who died at age 33 with 3 young children. She would have jumped at the opportunity to have chemo - so I do this for her as well. My mom who had breast cancer at age 46 took it head on and is a 14 year survivor. I have strong women who blazed the trail before me and I'm so thankful for their strength. On 7/26 I had my first chemo treatment. It was an emotional morning for Mark and I - but once things got going, it was somewhat of a relief to know chemo is going to kill any cells that escaped through my lymph nodes in my body. Cancer doesn't stand a chance. I am up for the fight and pretty pissed off. It's now day three after chemo and I woke up this morning and said to Mark, "I feel poisoned". My body is down for the count but inside I'm still fighting - punching walls - kicking and screaming and all I could think this morning was...Cancer, you picked the wrong mama to mess with and you're not taking my life.
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