Inner Warrior

...Today is day 8 after chemo and they say day 8 you start to feel 'normal' again. Pre-cancer, I’d say today feels like an ok day. Post-cancer, today feels like I could confidently run a marathon right off the couch. I’m fired up. I feel good and I’m appreciating my appetite- food - laughing - my kids - nature and conversations. Today feels...Meaningful. 

In my blissed out state of appreciating how resilient my body can be, I was quiet enough and had a visitor. My inner warrior introduced herself to me today and whoa...she’s nothing to mess with and even intimidated...me. 

Mark and I have been standing in the middle of a tornado - just to get to - and through my first chemo treatment. Today is the first day I am actually 'feeling' this new reality. It’s sinking in...and this new warrior is straight up telling me how it’s going to be. I’m not angry or getting ahead of myself with my thoughts spinning out of control.  I am completely present and stuck in the quicksand of this moment.  I am so deeply vulnerable that I eventually said forget it...and just surrendered.  While in that free fall, the feeling turned into unstoppable courage. I’m letting it in. I’m going to own this experience - and I’m going to live it out loud. 

You can pull up a chair and watch this unfold...the good - the bad - the gritty- and graceful because I know with every cell in my being...I will beat this.  When you're forced to look fear in the face, you learn real quick what you're made of.  I met my inner warrior today and she going to battle....and she’s the strongest person I’ve ever met.